There’s a reason we lean in when someone says, “Let me tell you what I learned the hard way…”
We’re not drawn to perfection. We’re drawn to people who are real, who’ve been through something, and who are willing to show us what it cost them and what it taught them.
As leaders, solopreneurs, coaches, and authors, we often feel the pressure to have it all together—to be the expert, the motivator, the guide. But here’s a secret: one of the most powerful ways to lead is by letting people see your humanity.
Vulnerability Builds Connection
Think about someone you admire. Chances are, it’s not just because of their accomplishments. It’s because they’ve let you in. They’ve told the truth about the struggle behind the success.
When you share a moment of doubt, a mistake, or a turning point in your story, your audience sees themselves in you. Suddenly, you’re not just a coach or an expert—you’re a fellow traveler. That’s when trust begins to deepen. That’s when connection starts to happen.
Whether you’re speaking from a stage, writing a book, leading a team, mentoring youth, or hosting a workshop, people are far more likely to engage with you if they feel like you’re being real.
I like the way my business coach, Michelle Kopper, founder of The Inspired Voice, describes it: “Allowing your vulnerability opens your energetic presence up so that your audience feels you. This is a superpower in today’s AI world. Your visibility is a practice, like martial arts or meditation. The more you do it, the more unshakable it gets.”
Now for a word of caution: vulnerability is not the same as spilling everything. It’s about intentional sharing. You choose what parts of your story will serve your audience. You’re not “going public” for attention—you’re sharing for connection and impact.
Ask yourself:
- What turning points in my journey taught me something my audience needs to hear?
- What struggles helped shape my values, my mission, or the way I serve?
- What stories could help others feel less alone in their own challenges?
Those are the golden threads. And they’re often the parts we’re most tempted to hide (even from ourselves!).
When you’re honest about your own fears, failures, and turning points, you give others permission to face their own. You model courage. You demonstrate resilience. You show that growth is possible—not just for someone with perfect habits and a flawless resume, but for anyone who’s willing to do the work.
MEMOIR WRITERS AND SPEAKERS LISTEN UP:
- Start with a small story.
You don’t have to bare your soul on page one. Start with a simple moment—a mistake, a conversation, a lesson learned. - Know your point.
Make sure your story serves your message. What do you want your audience to feel, realize, or do as a result? - Stay grounded.
Speak from a place of healing, not from a wound that’s still open. Share the lesson, not the raw emotion. - Watch your language.
Use storytelling to invite, not to impress. Words like “I struggled,” “I didn’t know what to do,” or “I learned the hard way” are powerful door openers. - Trust your audience.
Assume they’re wise and willing to meet you at a deeper level. Your honesty will resonate more than you know.
Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s leadership.
If you want to write or lead in a way that truly reaches people, don’t be afraid to tell the truth about the journey. Your story—your real story—is your superpower.
And someone out there needs to hear it.
